19th entry is from:
Ang ger@rd ay ang tahanan ng mga saloobin at nilalaman ng isipan ni Gerard Cayco, ang may-akda ng nasabing blogspot. Dito niya isinasaad ang kanyang mga haka-haka, kuro-kuro, ideya, at mga napapansin sa paligid. Ang pangalan ng blogspot ay naging isang palaisipan kay Gerard. Ang unang pangalan nito ay Gerard Legacy, matapos nito'y naging Gerard House of Songs (HOS) dahil nahilig ang may-akda sa pagsulat ng mga awitin hanggang sa dumating ang punto na naisipan nanamang palitan ito ng pangalan at iyon nga ay ang ger@rd. Nagsimula ang blogspot na ito noong November 2010 ngunit ito'y napabayaan ni Gerard subalit ito'y naibalik noong November 2012.
Isa sa mga naging inspirasyon ng ger@rd ay ang Unplog...
I'LL ALWAYS BE YOURS
With everything that happened in my life,
I have never doubted that You are alive
Through thick and thin, sadness and joy, ups and downs,
There’s never an instance that You failed.
I can’t imagine how my life goes on without You
You are the strength of my life
I’ve never known anyone and anything else like You
The great provider, the soul redeemer, the loving Father!
Father, continue to reign over my life
I want to be Yours until my very last breath
Let Your will be fulfilled as I walk this journey with You
I want more of You, God!
Let Your light shine bright in this world
Let me be a living testimony of Your word
And all these people will see how amazing You are
Because You are the Lord of all.
Be magnified in every aspect of my life
Be glorified with every little things I’m exerting
Be lifted high as we, Your people, worship You in spirit and in truth
Here I am Lord! Use me!
It’s been a long time, Lord, since we’ve been together
And I believe this will last forever
Day by day, You got me even stronger
I want to stay in Your presence.
Lord, You just really amazed me with everything You’re doing
And I just can’t express how grateful and joyful my heart is because of You
Father, no matter what this world may take me
I will always be Yours, forever!
Your faithful servant,
Gerard Emmanuel Cayco
I am all bluster- I am not violent. I am not malicious. I am a RESULT.
You who have many names, I always asked myself which one of them is true?
You have all the knowledge in your hand, but why us people are ignorant?
You who sacrificed and saved our lives, but why do we keep turning our backs from your path?
With your pure immeasurable love.... Yet we still crave for affection?
Those are some of the questions that's running through my mind up until now. It's been a while huh? I missed those days that we were together. Do You still remember the time You taught me how to read your words? It was summer, I think I was 2nd grader that time. I used to go to your House every Sunday just to listen to some of your lines. The story-telling about Your life fascinated me, thinking that no one will never, ever do such thing(s) for I am selfish at that moment and I couldn't see myself sacrificing my own life to save others. I even sang some songs of praises, songs of love and gratitude about You. But that was the time when I was still a seeker. A spiritual-hunger. A "non-believer" if You may say so?
After almost 28 years of all fucked up "my-not-so-ordinary-called-life", I considered myself a changed man. A better grown up man. Nurtured by experience. Learned how to water my spiritual garden. A garden of my own. I stopped dropping by at your House every Sunday morning, listening to your stories bored me and noticed that I even forgot to sing your songs? I kept myself from doing that. Doing what other people do. It pisses me seeing them so "holy" outside but totally devious inside. I allowed myself to see and feel a relationship between You and me. With that bond we can hear our voices so clearly. You may think that I already forgotten Your voice, for I became a silent rebel. I even blamed you for all the shits that happened to my life. You let me find all the answers to all of my questions. Doubt clouded me at first but You told me not to. And hell yeah, You know that I had grudges on You but that didn't stopped me to call Your name everytime my life boils on a darker shade of black. Pitch black. For I believe that somehow You will show me a glare of light during my darkest hours. It really amazed me because You never failed to shed some. And I am so thankful for that. Really I am.
Blind that I am because I can't see your face, deaf for I can't hear you voice and numb for I can't feel your warmth literally but I know that faith binds our hearts. This time I will never ask questions on You, for you have all the answers right? I admit I am not a perfect son , not even pass your standards but I'm trying.... well atleast I'm still trying?
Thank you so much guys!