Why? Not that I am doing something wrong in people's sight. But feeling guilty for not doing what I believed what is right in God's eyes. To clarify what I mean, let me elaborate .
Once in a while, I am getting questions like: What do you do in your free time? Are you not bored when your husband is ombord the ship?
Then I can tell the many things that I do like:
blogging, reading, crocheting, creating cards, household chores to name a few.
Because of these things that I am busy with, I don't have time to get bored.
But wait a minute... I am doing more in my sparetime like:
*Attending prayer meeting and bible study.
* visiting the elderly every fourteen days to share God's words , sing songs and served coffee and cakes.
Sad thing is that I am avoiding to tell the last two part. Why again? Because I thought that maybe they don't want to hear it or they might find me boring or they might get offended.
In this place, if you say that you are a believer and read your bible everyday, they will think or say that you are crazy and feel sorry for you. And that is why maybe I don't feel like sharing my faith. The reason to be ashamed of myself. In addition, people wanted to talk a lot of other things than God. Because of that I don't know how to start a conversation about how good God is and how He picked me up from the muddy pit, washed me and put me on a dry ground heading to heaven. Now, you know why I am ashamed of myself.
Actually, I don't need to care how people will react if I witness for God, coz I should be thinking how God will react instead. And I don't like it when I do. I do really want to be liked and to be a person that people can feel appreaciated no matter who they are or what they do in life when they are with me. So...God help me!
When I share my faith through my blog, readers can either stop reading or be interested and read my post until the end. But, at least I won't see their reactions. And I will not be hurt. Again, thinking of what I would feel, not what God feels about it. Ashamed of me!
I feel like Paul when he said:
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate to do. Romans 7: 15.
Well, does it mean that I have an excuse? Of course not! And with that my prayer this morning sounds like these:
God...help me!
* Let me be bold wherever I am and whomever I am with.
* Let me not be afraid to speak the truth.
*Let me inspire others to believe in you.
*Let me show your light for those that are in darkness.
*Let me bring peace to the troubled.
*Let me bring joy and laughter to others.
*Let me be a channel of your words.
*Let me lead the lost to the right way.
* Let me be a comforter for those that are in pain.
*Let your love be seen in me.
* Let me bear fruits.
Then I can do what you said:
How about you? Do you have something to be ashamed of?
I loved to hear from the bottom of your hearts. Your comments makes me feel that I am connecting with someone out there.
Linking to:
How i wish i know someone like you here in our place.. I may not be so religious and do not mention God in many ways but i have faith in Him and i communicate with Him thru heart and soul. I am not ashamed but for me there are things which are better be keep in private. Or say it to someone you trust ;)
ReplyDeleteGod will increase your courage! It is His loving kindness that draws people to Him and that is definitely obvious through you. You don't have to force feed them Jesus eventually they will realize you are different, and it is because of dining with Christ. "Do one thing every day that scares you" Eleanor Roosevelt
ReplyDeleteThank you so very much for sharing at Tell me a Story. I love your openness. We are our harshest critic and the thoughts of defeat are not coming from God. If you believe you need to witness more, start out slow. Mention that you volunteer to serve tea and cake and visit the elderly. The person asking you will probably have more questions and you can take it from there. Is your Bible study in a home or at your church? Perhaps your friend would welcome an invite as they probably are the one who is bored and may need something else legal to interest them.
ReplyDeleteso true joy so true... it is easier to do what the society dictates and yet too hard to do what is right in God's eyes. but with your faith and that prayer God is always with you.
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU for this very enlightening post...
What a beautiful, full life you are living. :)
ReplyDeleteWe do often strive to please everybody and make everybody like us but it is just not possible so it's better to do what you like and show what you really are. Those that will like you because of what you are and what you do are the real people worth keeping. Showing your faith about God to others is always good because you'll never know whose faith you can turn into like yours :-). God bless you more, Joy!
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