Why? Not that I am doing something wrong in people's sight. But feeling guilty for not doing what I believed what is right in God's eyes. To clarify what I mean, let me elaborate .
Once in a while, I am getting questions like: What do you do in your free time? Are you not bored when your husband is ombord the ship?
Then I can tell the many things that I do like:
blogging, reading, crocheting, creating cards, household chores to name a few.
Because of these things that I am busy with, I don't have time to get bored.
But wait a minute... I am doing more in my sparetime like:
*Attending prayer meeting and bible study.
* visiting the elderly every fourteen days to share God's words , sing songs and served coffee and cakes.
Sad thing is that I am avoiding to tell the last two part. Why again? Because I thought that maybe they don't want to hear it or they might find me boring or they might get offended.
In this place, if you say that you are a believer and read your bible everyday, they will think or say that you are crazy and feel sorry for you. And that is why maybe I don't feel like sharing my faith. The reason to be ashamed of myself. In addition, people wanted to talk a lot of other things than God. Because of that I don't know how to start a conversation about how good God is and how He picked me up from the muddy pit, washed me and put me on a dry ground heading to heaven. Now, you know why I am ashamed of myself.
Actually, I don't need to care how people will react if I witness for God, coz I should be thinking how God will react instead. And I don't like it when I do. I do really want to be liked and to be a person that people can feel appreaciated no matter who they are or what they do in life when they are with me. So...God help me!
When I share my faith through my blog, readers can either stop reading or be interested and read my post until the end. But, at least I won't see their reactions. And I will not be hurt. Again, thinking of what I would feel, not what God feels about it. Ashamed of me!
I feel like Paul when he said:
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate to do. Romans 7: 15.
Well, does it mean that I have an excuse? Of course not! And with that my prayer this morning sounds like these:
* Let me be bold wherever I am and whomever I am with.
* Let me not be afraid to speak the truth.
*Let me inspire others to believe in you.
*Let me show your light for those that are in darkness.
*Let me bring peace to the troubled.
*Let me bring joy and laughter to others.
*Let me be a channel of your words.
*Let me lead the lost to the right way.
* Let me be a comforter for those that are in pain.
*Let your love be seen in me.
* Let me bear fruits.
Then I can do what you said:
How about you? Do you have something to be ashamed of?
I loved to hear from the bottom of your hearts. Your comments makes me feel that I am connecting with someone out there.