Thursday, September 13, 2012

Cure for deprivation!

Since all my children and grandchildren are very far away from me and my husband  is ombord the ship right now, I always try to make myself busy so that I won't long for them so much. 
Yes, I have food, water, shelter and a work  that I love and I have God with me all the time and I am very thankful, but  still I miss my loved ones so much. 
So I do lots of stuffs to cure my deprivation, like making these cards. And I always find something to make me smile. So I hope they can make you  smile too! 


Mother-in-law Jokes

* My mother-in-law is banned internationally from playing poker, as she keeps all the chips on her shoulder.




* Adam and Eve were the happiest, and the luckiest, couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law.




* What is the difference between outlaws and in-laws? Outlaws are Wanted.



* I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's chamber of horrors and one of the attendants said, 'Keep her moving sir, we're stocktaking.'

I said, 'Sure you can.' And shut the door.




                                                           Newlywed Surprise

The newlywed wife, Monica, said to her husband , Nick, when he returned from work, 'I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two.'
Nick started glowing with happiness and kissing Monica purred, 'Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world.'
Monica smiled and added, 'I'm glad that you feel that way, Nick, because tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us.'



Final Complaint
Tomorrow it's the mother-in-law's funeral...and she's cancelled it.

Paul: I was sorry to hear that your mother-in-law died. What was the complaint?
Phil: We haven't had any yet.


Intriguing Signs

1) Sign on motorway garage:
PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS.
YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS



                                                   2) Spotted in a safari park:
                                     ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR




                                                  3) Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR




                                                        4) Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES




                                              5) Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS




6) Sign on a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)


Geography Jokes

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.



Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.


Q: How is dew formed?
A: Certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. Then the sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.





Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.





                                       Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in the fight. 


Well , those are my cure for deprivation. How about you? 

JOY

37 comments:

  1. wow ate you are very talented, I like the designs :)

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  2. Thanks for the laughs :)
    AND, your cards are so WONDERFUL and BEAUTIFUL! I love them.

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  3. What a wonderful hobby to have. You're very creative and funny, too!

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  4. Thank you so much ladies:) your visits warms my heart:)

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  5. ang galing..pano mu nagagawa yan ate joy? favorite ko yung last na card :) nakakatawa yung mga signs..pinakanatawa ako sa no. 6 hahaha!

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  6. Pag may mga materials, madali ng nag create pink Line. Thanks

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  7. Joy this was cute. Loved the questions and answers. Blessings.

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  8. Very pretty ng mga cards na ginawa mo! You are very artistic! By the way, thanks for the good laugh!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks anney and welcome! I laugh too:)))

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  9. They are simply gogeous!
    And that's a very nice way to cure deprivation of the loved ones.
    Thanks for sharing;o)

    ***
    Happy day****

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  10. Wow! The cards are beautiful! You have been one busy lady!

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  11. haha oh my gosh..your work is fabulous!!!

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  12. :-)

    You're a funny gal!

    I love your art, by the way. I live in Minneapolis, Minnesota where the blood in most of our veins is Norwegian, Swedish, Finnish, and Danish, and art like yours is very much present in the homes of the young and hip!

    Pearl

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    Replies
    1. Thanks BB, Ann Marie , pearl and mildred. Bless you all:)

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  13. hahahaha... i like the jokes specially the intriguing signs... kala ko sa pinas lang meron nun...hehehe..

    galing mo gumawa ng cards mommy joy..i hope mapadalhan mo ko ng mga gawa mo..=)

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    Replies
    1. thanks Hash Purcia. You can send me your address if you want and I can send you an example:)

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  14. love receiving homemade cards, so much detail and attention.. hope you are well. xo

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for visitng Flag. Yes i am fine. Thank you:) hope ur ok too:)

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  15. hahahhah, you make my day JOY, Thanks for sharing- I love all your jokes..I know how you feel, I have ups and downs as well-blogging is my outlet away from home (Phil.) Thanks for the blogs I make friends and learn that life is not all the same. We have to look outside the box.have a weekend dear.

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  16. Have a nice week end too Mhie!

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  17. Really lovely cards Ms Joy! Happy weekend! :))

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    Replies
    1. Thanks zaizai. Happy weekend too:)

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  18. Wow, I am smiling...............I did need a smile for this evening. Thanks for all the fun thoughts and especially loved the cards that you made. You could start a business.
    Blessings!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Le Ann. I do sell them in rhe activity center where I work:)

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  19. ha ha ha funny thoughts just perfect for the GREAT card craft!
    I'll PM to you my address na to have one of those great cars Joy ;)

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    Replies
    1. Ok Balut. My emai address is : syrin@ tele2.no

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  20. Very beautiful and creative work of art.

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  21. Kakatuwa naman magbasa.. nabusog pa mga mata ko sa mga articrafts, this made my day :) God helg!

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  22. What creative hands you have. Your cards are lovely and your quotes are funny. I will not show them to my MIL though. ;-)

    Thank you for visiting my blog. :-)

    ~Imelda

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  23. Wow! Those cards u made are awesome, na inspire naman akong bigla hehehe.
    Ang lakas po ng tawa ko " adam and eve are the luckiest couple, bec neither of them had mother in laws" sobra hehehe.

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Thanks for dropping by and your comments are very well appreciated. It is like a cold glass water in a warm sunny day! Blessings.

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